its 4:42 P.M on a saturday...
and i think 'is it a sane hour to pack my bags and leave for the day?"
what with the international education from one of the ivy leagues and all,
ive been reduced to a regular administrator who sits in a big chair and orders people around...
a role that i would have scorned had i not been taken over by the idea of an emerging India full of growth and potential...the place to be!
well all i can say for the last 6 months ..in words...
lonely,power,corrupt,bureaucracy, egocentric,MLC,unswerving loyalty,bored,EBITDA, bankers, proposals,lunch,Politics!!!

I have to put an end to this lifestyle before it puts an end to my competence

spent the first coupla years of my adult life..
trying to run away from relationships ..
anything that could tie me down...
spending the next couple trying to get into one...
weird....
hell! life was much easier when there were big problems to be handled
coz all you had to handle was the problem itself and all you had to look for was the solution
but when there arent any problems....
its a vast vacuum out there...i dont know what to look for and dont know what i will find...

This above all: to thine own self be true- WS

the last one year has been a revelation of its kind..
meeting a friend and talking to her...made me think about the last year in retrospect...
giving it a whole new meaning and dimension...
the shocks of what ive seen only make sense from a safe distance of the future...
and a more holistic meaning or lack of it...
broken relationships,betrayal,hypocrisy,selfishness,cheating,immorality...
or was it just a lack of any form of restraint?...
i donot know...
if humankind is capable of such..and yet convince themselves that they are right...how far can they go?......
am not one to judge....
but i get the feeling that my meaning of values..seems far outdated...
yet i completely stand by them...maybe im out of time and out of sync with the 'new world'
yet im proudly,guiltlessly me.

my week.......
frustration at work...the way they work..
juggling between spending time with my sis and getting imp workdone
moments of pure joy..laughing at stupid childhood jokes
menstrual cramps...terrible pain
nostalgia..looking at the year book..fond memories
some unanswered questions that cloud my thinking
a thought provoking movie..
family and the cacophony of relatives..poking fun at each other
the calm of the night..where i lie in my bed..thinking..some introspection
hmmmmm......

Labrynthine depths of a woman's heart...

been asked to model for an ad campaign..does make me feel good,border case Narcissist! :)

have been asked for help.. a warm feeling of satisfaction to be able to help someone

have made up my mind to say 'No' to someone..initial feelings of self doubt..after musings and convincing myself and hearing myself aloud..i decide to trust my instinct..though i know the reasoning isnt rational enough..some decisions have to be taken..will save everyone a lot of trouble.

have to prepare for an interview...some moments of confidence..some not so..

ouch!!!